Bat Shit Movie Reviews

In the world of J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Lord of the Rings,” there’s a character named Smeagol who, let’s be honest, goes on a rollercoaster ride of madness in pursuit of a shiny piece of jewelry. But, hold on to your calculators, because this madness has some surprising parallels with the adventures of young investment bankers who are on a quest for something even shinier: material wealth. As Smeagol himself might say, “We wants it, my precious.” In this essay, we’ll take a light-hearted dive into the world of Smeagol-turned-Gollum and the antics of young investment bankers as they chase riches, bonuses, and more bonuses.

The Precious Temptation: Bling vs. Benjamins

Smeagol’s story kicks off when he stumbles upon the One Ring, and let’s face it, it’s a pretty snazzy piece of jewelry. As he might put it, “It’s so beautiful, my love, my precious.” I mean, who wouldn’t want a ring that turns you invisible and, in the right lighting, could probably be seen from space? Similarly, young investment bankers, fresh-faced and ready for Wall Street, can’t resist the allure of blingier bank accounts. As Smeagol might say, “We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious bonuses.”

As Smeagol’s obsession grows, he starts distancing himself from family and friends, much like how young bankers might accidentally “ghost” their pals due to those never-ending work hours. It’s not that they don’t want to hang out; it’s just that they’re too busy, as Smeagol would say, “Sneaky little bankers, they take our time, precious.”

The Dehumanizing Effect: The Cubicle Turns to Gollum’s Cave

Smeagol’s transformation into Gollum is like watching someone slowly morph into a financial version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He becomes obsessed with the Ring, and suddenly, his cave is more “home sweet home” than the coziest Hobbit hole. Similarly, young investment bankers can undergo a similar transformation as they navigate the demanding, cutthroat world of finance. Ethics and morality sometimes take a backseat when the next big deal is on the line.

It’s all about that bottom line, and the financial world can sometimes make folks forget that money isn’t everything. So, as Smeagol might mutter, “Nasty business, this. But precious profits, yes.”

The Loss of Empathy: From Hobbit to HobNobbing

Gollum, as a character, isn’t known for his kindness or empathy. His obsession with the Ring turns him into a first-rate backstabber. Similarly, young investment bankers might gradually lose their empathy as they climb the corporate ladder. They might engage in practices that harm others, all while telling themselves, “It’s just business, nothing personal.”

This loss of empathy can be a slippery slope. Before you know it, they’re hobnobbing at networking events, discussing stocks while their former friends are wondering what happened to their favorite brunch buddy. As Smeagol might lament, “We used to be nice, precious. Now, we’re bankers.”

The Isolation and Loneliness: Gollum’s Guide to Solitude

Gollum, living in his cave deep within the Misty Mountains, is the poster child for social distancing, but not in a good way. He’s so isolated that his only friend is the Ring, which he calls “my precious.” Young investment bankers, in their quest for success, can also become quite lonely. Those late nights at the office and jet-setting for deals can make it hard to maintain a social life.

The pursuit of material wealth can be an isolating endeavor. Soon, bankers might find themselves staring at their reflection in the polished lobby of their office building, wondering if their reflection is their new best friend, as Smeagol might croak, “No friends, no family, only the precious.”

The Endless Chase: Chasing Benjamins Like a Dog Chasing Its Tail

Gollum’s obsession with the Ring leads to a never-ending chase. He just can’t quit it, even though it’s done nothing but mess up his life. Similarly, young investment bankers can find themselves stuck in a never-ending pursuit of wealth. Each promotion, each bonus, is like another lap on a hamster wheel that never stops spinning.

This pursuit can become addictive. The moment they achieve one financial goal, they’re off to chase the next one. It’s like trying to catch a squirrel that keeps running away, only the squirrel is a pile of money, and it’s never-ending fun (or madness, depending on your perspective), as Smeagol might whisper, “Must catch it, must have it, must be rich.”

The Loss of Self: “Who Am I Again?”

Perhaps the most comical parallel between Smeagol’s madness and young investment bankers’ antics is the loss of self. As Smeagol becomes Gollum, he forgets his name and his past life as a Hobbit. Young bankers, on their quest for material wealth, might also lose touch with their true selves. The values and passions that once defined them might be overshadowed by the quest for bigger bonuses and fancier job titles.

The result? They look in the mirror and wonder, “Who am I, and why am I wearing this suit every day?” It’s like a real-life identity crisis, but with more PowerPoint presentations, as Smeagol might sigh, “We used to be somebody, precious. Now, we’re just bankers.”

In the grand epic of J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Lord of the Rings,” Smeagol’s descent into madness and obsession with the One Ring might seem dramatic, but it’s not far off from the hilarious adventures of young investment bankers chasing after material wealth. From blingy temptations to the loss of empathy, these parallels provide us with a comical perspective on the world of finance and ambition.

While this essay doesn’t aim to poke fun at the pursuit of financial success, it does remind us to keep our sense of humor intact as we navigate the twists and turns of our own ambitions. Smeagol’s transformation into Gollum is a whimsical reminder that in the pursuit of wealth, it’s essential to hold onto our humanity and not take ourselves too seriously. After all, even Gollum could use a good laugh now and then, especially if it’s about chasing “precious” things.